diff --git a/.github/workflows/main.yml b/.github/workflows/main.yml
index 56d11ae211..e1c765e995 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/main.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/main.yml
@@ -225,3 +225,20 @@ jobs:
     - name: Install Rust
       run: rustup update nightly && rustup default nightly
     - run: ./ci/build-std-detect.sh
+
+  success:
+    needs:
+      - docs
+      - verify
+      - env_override
+      - test
+      - build-std-detect
+    runs-on: ubuntu-latest
+    # GitHub branch protection is exceedingly silly and treats "jobs skipped because a dependency
+    # failed" as success. So we have to do some contortions to ensure the job fails if any of its
+    # dependencies fails.
+    if: always() # make sure this is never "skipped"
+    steps:
+      # Manually check the status of all dependencies. `if: failure()` does not work.
+      - name: check if any dependency failed
+        run: jq --exit-status 'all(.result == "success")' <<< '${{ toJson(needs) }}'