If a resource needs to have create_before_destroy in order to be properly destroyed, but it was not originally configured with this option, there is no way to easily add this option before destroying the resource.
Currently the only way to store a new state for the resource is to trigger an update. However, if the resource does not have any attributes which can be trivially updated, then it becomes more difficult to destroy the resource with the correct ordering.
It's likely that the attribute can be added to the state during refresh, in the same manner that was done for stored dependencies.